Pages from my Diary (Memoir)

It was a very good evening as usual for both of us, for me and my brother.

 

After our classes were over for the day by 4, we were still supposed to wait at school, till my dad would pick us to home. He would usually come to school by 5, after his work. Me and my brother would just while away that splendid one hour time, from 4-5 in those beautiful evenings, running, playing as we used to, along with two more friends of my sixth class.
 

School is a place which usually remains in our minds for a long time. For it is where we have spent our childhood days, being innocent and learnt a lot for the first time. Teachers who smiled the most and comforted us were gods to us & those who had cane stick in their hands and who frightened us, were easily considered devils by everyone. Those days, spanking by cane were more common. We hardly could find any teacher without a cane in their hand, except for a four or five real gods. If not all those who did have a cane would spank us, at least that was used as a tool to threaten and to drive a point in the minds of the students that punishment is on the cards anytime, for doing any mischief & that indiscipline is not tolerated.
 

The infrastructure and the ambience of the school well filled my mental cravings. It was a school which I still cherish. It is where I found my thirst for knowledge getting satisfied. Still I could easily recollect some of my best teachers and can retrieve who taught what when and how. These memories can't be erased at a go. The student-teacher relationship I established and maintained with all my teachers was really excellent. It is quite self-fulfilling even when I recollect to pen this piece.
 

Let me now come back to the evening that I started describing. That was a big campus with garden and greenery at the center & single storeyed buildings on either side subtly divided into well planned classrooms. We had a very big play ground at the back side of our assembly area & this assembly area was at the exact geometric center of our school. We had a lot of open space all around & each classroom had a tree near its entrance.
 

The scene exactly begins with this tree that I have just introduced. On that wonderful evening, we were playing as usual after our classes were over. It was rather a beautiful setting & was very nice to hear those birds chirping back to their nests, in the evening sky.
 

My class was just 50 meters away from my Principal's room. Being a Christian school, our Principal was a priest who took care of the school excellently and also attended Church regularly. He was called as 'Father' by all of us & even our teachers called him 'Father'. Never in my mind I remember having him called a Principal even though he was.
 

He used to be very devoted towards his work. He wore a long white gown & sported a stylish beard which quite matched his personality. He was a very disciplined man, and would expect the same from his students alike. He would first summon those students who fared poor at exams and advice them. His second weapon was a warning, and third was undoubtedly caning.
 

That eventful evening when we both where whiling our time, getting tired by running around, we started playing a new game. And there started our troubles too. Unfortunately our friends who used to accompany us every evening, left earlier that day. The tree that was just in front of my class was fixed as the target to be hit. We agreed to start hitting the tree from quite a far distance so that it would remain a challenge. Three chances would be given, meaning that one has to hit the tree at least once, using three stones. We started pelting the stones one by one. This continued for a couple of minutes, before Mr. Dominic met us. Dominic was an assistant to our Father. He was a lean tall man with all center teeth missing or half present. He hardly opens his mouth to laugh as he is quite aware about how fearful it was for students to bear.
 

He informed us that the Father (Principal) wanted to discuss something with us. We neither did understand the gravity of the situation nor were able to understand the reason for we being called. Hope we had very low IQ at that point of time. We just thought we were invited by him to discuss something special, which the others would certainly miss.
 

Myself, my brother and Dominic were now in front of our 'Father'. Dominic silently moved away, leaving both of us in front of our Principal. We never expected this to happen. He began shouting in such a furious tone. 

"What did you do there?"

"Pardon us Father, what, we don't understand", was my reply.

"What were you both doing to that tree?"
 

Our IQ started to work only right now. It was a bit of a starting trouble for both of us, and it was too late now as we have not prepared anything to put up our case. Oh My God!, the whole thing was related to the tree now. We stared at each other but there were no words to utter. We maintained silence. He now came strongly at us, with his anger rising to new heights. 
 

Though we could not answer his question point to point, all I could do at that point of time, was to draw upon my confidence and say the truth that, in fact we were playing among ourselves, yes with that tree.

"You are not playing with that tree, instead you are killing that", came a ferocious reply.

We maintained silence. When I say we maintained silence, it means I remained silent, as my brother neither speaks out nor comes to my rescue, when it comes to situations like this. He is younger to me by two years. And the onus to face the music lies heavily on my shoulders. That's the blank truth.

"Do you know how much it takes to grow a tree, and do you know the pain that you are causing it?".

At that bitter moment, we could understand only two things. One that this man is so serious about the issue and second that this seriousness is going to get converted sooner or later into a punishment, which would be proportionate to his assumption of how paining it could have been for the tree.

Neither can he reduce his temper, nor did we be able to break the silence.

With an angry face, he reached out for his cane.  And at last, we were at least mentally prepared to face whatever that would happen to us, as a consequence of what we did that day, as punishment was on the cards.

Double times 5.

1 2 3 4 5

1 2 3 4 5

First five for me, and the next five for my brother. We were caned & at least I was reeling with pain.

"In your whole life time, you'll remember not to impart harm to any living being. Do you understand?"

That advice or warning seemed out of logic for me. As he had just now harmed two living beings, for harming one. I prayed to god that he should be getting 2 times 5, all for himself, from God.

I started to weep, both externally and internally. We came out of his room after having this infamous gift. It was heavily paining me. After a few moments later, I just wanted to check up like how my brother took this whole situation into his mind. Only then I found the truth that, he neither cried when he was caned, nor was he caring about the whole thing that happened a few minutes ago. He was as cool as before and was hardly bothered about anything at all that happened, at least to him.

More than our Principal's treatment, I was more shocked with my brother's response. In fact, it would be more apt to say that I was shocked with the 'absence of any significant response' from him. For a moment, I even questioned whether he has any 'response to stimulus' or not.

Yes. 'Response to stimulus' was the concept that my science teacher had just taught the very same day when all these events happened. I still remember vividly that she was giving an example of 'Mimosa pudica' or 'touch-me-not' plant, to demonstrate the concept of 'response to stimulus'.

 

I was quite puzzled with the way things went for me that entire day. Only later did I know that the sequence of events that happened that day was to create a huge impact on me.

 

Two things made me think, in ways that I had not thought so far, till that point of time. The first one was the 'reaction' from my brother, and the other one was the 'perception' of our principal that we are killing the tree.

 

Similar situation was provided to both of us & still we both reacted differently, which I couldn't believe. Both decided to play a certain game and together we played, both were called by the principal and both were punished equally, but still that difference in the reaction to the situation from both of us, could not I digest. Simply to put it in psychological terms, two different 'subjects', despite providing the same 'stimulus', elicited a different 'response'.

 

This is one of the most basic thing which had a deeper root in psychology, which became my first learning, at that tender age.

 

The thoughts that we think, determine the center of gravity of our life. If one keeps on thinking about good things, and posses good thoughts his entire life, he ultimately becomes good at the end. One naturally becomes, or at least becomes close to what he thinks he needs to be or he is. It is true that thoughts drive this whole world. I remember here James Allen's favorite, 'As a man thinketh'.

 

The thoughts that one posses and nurtures determines his personality later, in one's life. Thoughts makes way to habits, and habits determines the personality, personality ultimately determines the direction in one's life. It's how things happen. And all these are very natural and there's no secret in it.

 

The current situation that this planet is into, can be simply expressed as the, summation of the thought vectors of all the living organisms, existing on this earth. That is what I would prefer to call as the 'collective wisdom' or simply, the collective thinking of all the living things in this planet earth, at any point of time. Remember that this species Homo sapiens has the power to create a tremendous impact on the daily proceedings to whatever happens on this mother Earth.

 

Each one of us think something or the other, at any given point of time, and each of these thoughts could be classified as good or bad and strong or weak. Good or bad is in itself a relative term, which I would chose to elaborate at length, sometime later and not now. For the time being, let us assume that, whatever thoughts or actions that would aid us in achieving our objective are good, and whichever that would object or prohibit from reaching the objective would be bad. This good or bad determines the thought vector that I described, the direction. And how strong or weak those thoughts and actions are in enabling us to reach our objective, provides the magnitude.

 

One may have a question here as to, what would happen if the objective that was set by an individual or the society itself would be wrong, and that we strive to achieve the wrong objective, by spending good thoughts? If you have thought so, you are really good in analytical reasoning. Let's continue discussing further, when time permits.

(To be continued - Ariv).